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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?